My Virtual Reading Room

A sampler from last two weekends at work:

Weekend before last, Saturday, as soon as I walk into the patient's room to help my colleague pull the patient up in bed:

"Are you part of the big conspiracy, too?"

"What conspiracy, Sir?"

"The conspiracy to make me think I'm crazy."

"There IS no conspiracy."

We exit the room and I say to my colleague, "you said he is anxious? This is not anxiety, this is paranoia! Psych consult?"

Last weekend, we have another patient who can't even walk steadily and insists she's going home--she got dressed, packed her suitcase (packing the hospital gown into it) and headed down the hall...

We were chasing her all night...she tried to hit us with her cane, too, despite several doses of medication I'd given her...

She's sitting there on a chair in the hallway and she's dropped her glasses...I picked them up and handed them to her, saying, "Ma'am, here are your glasses, you dropped them" and she says, "Put these glasses up your....."  I just looked at her and said, "why would I want to put your glasses anywhere? I have my own." The supervisor stopped by and chatted with her, too--she told the supervisor, too, where to go...

We're right across from the psych unit, you know--I think the vibes filter through the walls...