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Love Requires One to Be Strong
Leo Buscaglia




To live in love is life's greatest challenge. It requires more subtlety, flexibility, sensitivity, understanding, acceptance, tolerance, knowledge and strength than any other human endeavor or emotion, for love and the actual world make up what seem like two great contradictory forces. On the one hand, we may know that only be being vulnerable can we truly offer and accept love. At the same time, we know that if we reveal this vulnerability in daily life, we often run the risk of being misused, taken advantage of. We sense that if we hole a part of ourselves in reserve to protect this vulnerability, we will always receive in return only the partial love we give. So, the only chance we have for a depth of love is to give all that we have. Yet, we discover that when we give all that we have, we are often left with little or nothing in reserve.

We know that we must trust and believe in love, for it's the only approach to love. Yet, if we express our trust and belief, society doesn't hesitate to abuse us and take us for fools. If we have hope in love and know that it's only with this hope that we can make this dream of an all-loving humanity a reality, society ridicules us as idealistic dreamers. If we don't seek love frantically, we're suspected of being impotent and an "odd-ball." Yet we know that love isn't to be sought after; it's everywhere, and to search is self-deception, a charade.


If we decide to spend each moment of our lives, living in love, in the knowledge that we are most real and human when we are living love, society labels us as weak-minded romantics. Love and the practices of the real world seem at odds, miles apart. It is no wonder so may people do not have the courage to attempt to bridge the gap, for in practice, the gap seems unbridgeable.
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Why do some people always see beautiful skies and grass and lovely flowers and incredible human beings, while others are hard-pressed to find anything or any place that is beautiful?

There are two big forces at work, external and internal. We have very little control over external forces such as tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, disasters, illness and pain. What really matters is the internal force. How do I respond to those disasters? Over that I have complete control.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

I exist, I am, I am here, I am becoming, I make my own life and no one else makes it for me. I must face my own shortcomings, mistakes, transgressions. No one can suffer my non-being as I do, but tomorrow is another day, and I must decide to leave my bed and live again. And if I fail, I don't have the comfort of blaming you or life or God.

A wonderful realization will be the day you realize that you are unique in all the world. There is nothing that is an accident. You are a special combination for a purpose-and don't let them tell you otherwise, even if they tell you that purpose is an illusion. (Live an illusion if you have to.) You are that combination so that you can do what is essential for you to do. Don't ever believe that you have nothing to contribute. The world is an incredible unfulfilled tapestry. And only you can fulfill that tiny space that is yours.

There are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give.

The fact that I can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another's, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, are to me continual spiritual exercises.

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.

* We must learn that we cannot be loved by all people. That is the ideal. In the world of people, it is not often found. We can be the finest plum in the world, ripe, juicy, sweet, succulent and offer ourselves to all. But we must remember that there will be people who do not like plums.

* We must understand that if we are the world's finest plum and someone we love does not like plums, we have the choice of becoming a banana. But we must be warned that if we choose to become a banana, we will be a second-rate banana. But we can always be the best plum.

(Leo Buscaglia)

"We must learn that we cannot be loved by all people. That is the ideal. In the world of people, it is not often found.

We can be the finest plum in the world, ripe, juicy, sweet, succulent and offer ourselves to all.

But we must remember that there will be people who do not like plums."

~Leo Buscaglia